The Digital Shutterbug (aryx) wrote,
The Digital Shutterbug
aryx

This journal has been placed in memorial status. New entries cannot be posted to it.

I found an old printed e-mail in my garage during cleaning. It is a list of some of the whacky things written on church handouts. These are typed out exactly as seen on the pamphlets, spelling errors and all (which is what makes them funny). Unfortunately, I only have page 3 of 4. :(

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.

Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.

Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.

Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

Please place you donation in the envelope along with the deceased person(s) you want remembered.

Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch.

The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment, and gracious hostility.

Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 pm. -- prayer and medication to follow.

The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

Weight Watchers will meet at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespear's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7PM. The Congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.

Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.

The Lutheran men's group will meet at 6 pm. Steak, mashed potatoes, green beans, bread and dessert will be served for a nominal feel.

Didja catch all of those?
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