The Digital Shutterbug (aryx) wrote,
The Digital Shutterbug

This journal has been placed in memorial status. New entries cannot be posted to it.

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--Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool?
--Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked?
--I earn a seven-figure salary. Unfortunately, there's a decimal point involved.
--Home is where you can say anything you like 'cause nobody listens to you anyway.
--I live in my own little world, but it's ok, they know me here.
-- hen you stop believing in Santa Claus is when you start getting clothes for Christmas!
--I don't have a big ego, I'm way too cool for that.
--I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
--After all is said and done, usually more is said than done.
--I married my wife for her looks...but not the ones she's been giving me lately!
--Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I've stayed alive.
--Give your son a hint. On his room door put this sign: CHECKOUT TIME IS 18.
--How come we choose from just two people for president and 50 for Miss America?
--How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.
--Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.
--Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words:
"Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been."

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