The owner of a gas station in the Deep South tries to boost sales by posting a sign that read, "Free sex with fill up!"
Before long, two rednecks pull in. The driver gets out, fills his tank and then inquires about the sex.
"Pick a number between one and 10," the owner says. "If you guess correctly, you win free sex."
The buyer thinks a bit and then finally guesses eight.
"No, but you were close," the proprieter says. "The number was seven. Sorry, no free sex today. Maybe next time."
As the two men pull out, the driver says to his buddy, "You know, I think the game is rigged. I bet he doesn't really give away free sex."
The passenger replies, "No Billy Ray, it ain't rigged--my wife won twice last week!"
"I can't help but notice how happy you look," a woman says to a little old man. "What's your secret?"
"I smoke, drink, eat fatty foods, and don't exercise," he answers.
"Wow! How old are you?" she asks.
"Twenty-six," he says.