Don't go changing
To try to please me
You've never let me down, before
Well, okay, there was that one time. But you were on medication and had that strange tube hooked up to you for six months, mumbling something about a drunk Superman tricking people to jump off the Empire State Building. But other than that...
And don't imagine
You're too familiar
I love you just the way you are
Well, you should probably remove those twigs from your nose and get rid of that lice. And, while we're on the subject, would you mind shaving your armpits and clipping your toenails?