"I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather, not screaming in terror like his passengers." -- Emo Phillips.
"Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive."
"In an atomic war, all men will be cremated equal."
"Some days you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant."
"The Earth is degenerating these days. Bribery and corruption abound. Children no longer mind their parents, every man wants to write a book, and it is evident that the end of the world is fast approaching." -- Assyrian Stone Tablet, c.2800BC
"Q: If we do happen to step on a mine, Sir, what do we do ?
A: Normal procedure, Lieutenant, is to jump 200 feet in the air and scatter oneself over a wide area."
"It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens." -- Woody Allen, Without Feathers.
"I am so old that when I was young the Dead Sea was only sick."
"God put me on earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind, I will live forever."
"The idea is to die young as late as possible." -- Ashley Montagu
"Longest Live Burial World Record Attempt." -- From a tombstone.