> 1. Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your car
> 2. There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.
> 3. When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.
> 4. If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
> 5. Don't assume malice for what stupidity can explain. (Amen to this one.)
> 6. A penny saved is a government oversight.
> 7. The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
> 8. The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.
> 9. The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
> 10. He who hesitates is probably right.
> 11. If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.
> 12. If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
> 13. The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.
> 14. Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words "The" and "IRS" together it spells "THEIRS"?