May 31st, 2002

my lips

Equivalents you don't learn in school

1.. Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter: Eskimo Pi
2.. 2000 pounds of Chinese soup: Won ton
3.. 1 millionth of a mouthwash: 1 microscope
4.. Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement: 1 bananosecond
5.. Weight an evangelist carries with God: 1 billigram
6.. Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour: 1 Knot-furlong
7.. 365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer because it's less filling: 1 lite year
8.. 16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone: 1 Rod Serling
9.. Half of a large intestine: 1 semicolon
10.. 1000 aches: 1 kilohurtz
11.. Basic unit of laryngitis: 1 hoarsepower
12.. Shortest distance between two jokes: A straight line
13.. 453.6 graham crackers: 1 pound cake
14.. 1 million microphones: 1 megaphone
15.. 1 million bicycles: 2 megacycles
16.. 2000 mockingbirds: two kilomockingbirds
17.. 52 cards: 1 decacards
18.. 1 kilogram of falling figs: 1 Fig Newton
19.. 1000 cubic centimeters of wet socks: 1 literhosen
20.. 1 millionth of a fish: 1 microfiche
21.. 1 trillion pins: 1 terrapin
22.. 10 rations: 1 decoration
23.. 100 rations: 1 C-ration
24.. 2 monograms: 1 diagram
25.. 8 nickels: 2 paradigms
26.. 3 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital: 1 I. V. League