May 9th, 2002

my lips

(no subject)

Such sinus problems... making my ears feel like they're going to explode.
Not happy.
Can't get router to work... very unhappy
  • Current Mood
    unhappy :(
my lips

Yoda

I met him in a swamp down in Dagoba,
Where it bubbles all the time like a giant carbonated soda.
S-O-D-A, soda.
I saw the little runt sitting there on a log.
I asked him his name, and in a raspy voice he said, "Yoda."
Y-O-D-A, Yoda. Yo Yo Yo Yo Yoda.

Well, I've been around, but I ain't never seen
A guy who looks like a Muppet, but he's wrinkled and green.
Oh, my Yoda. Yo Yo Yo Yo Yoda.

Well, I'm not dumb, but I can't understand
How he can lift me in the air just by raising his hand.
Oh, my Yoda. Yo Yo Yo Yo Yoda. Yo Yo Yo Yo Yoda.

Well, I left home just a week before,
And I've never ever been a Jedi before.
But Obi Wan, he set me straight, of course.
He said, "Go to Yoda and he'll show you the Force!"

Well I'm not the kind that would argue with Ben,
So it looks like I'm gonna start all over again
With my Yoda. Yo Yo Yo Yo Yoda. Yo Yo Yo Yo Yoda.
Yoda. Yo Yo Yo Yo Yoda. Yo Yo Yo Yo Yoda.

So I used the Force.
I picked up a box.
I lifted some rocks
While I stood on my head.
Well, I won't forget what Yoda said.

He said,"Luke, stay away from the darker side,
And if you start to go astray, let the Force be your guide."
Oh, my Yoda. Yo Yo Yo Yo Yoda.
"I know Darth Vader's really got you annoyed,
But remember, if you kill him then you'll be unemployed."
Oh, my Yoda. Yo Yo Yo Yo Yoda.

Well, I heard my friends really got in a mess,
So I'm gonna have to leave Yoda, I guess.
But I know that I'll be coming back some day.
I'll be palying this part till I'm old and gray.
The long-term contract that I had to sign
Says I'll be making these movies till the end of time,
With my Yoda. Yo Yo Yo Yo Yoda. Yo Yo Yo Yo Yoda.

Yoda. Yo Yo Yo Yo Yoda. Yo Yo Yo Yo Yoda.
Yoda. Yo Yo Yo Yo Yoda. Yo Yo Yo Yo Yoda.

Yoda. Yo Yo Yo Yo Yoda. Yo Yo Yo Yo Yoda.
Yoda. Yo Yo Yo Yo Yoda. Yo Yo Yo Yo Yoda.

Yoda. Yo Yo Yo yo Yoda. Yo Yo Yo Yo Yoda.
Yoda. Yo Yo Yo yo Yoda. Yo Yo Yo Yo Yoda.
my lips

(no subject)

It sounds funny, I know,
But it really is so,
Oh, I'm my own grandpa.

I'm my own grandpa.
I'm my own grandpa.
It sounds funny, I know,
But it really is so,
Oh, I'm my own grandpa.

Now many, many years ago, when I was twenty-three,
I was married to a widow who was pretty as could be.
This widow had a grown-up daughter who had hair of red.
My father fell in love with her, and soon they, too, were wed.
This made my dad my son-in-law and changed my very life,
My daughter was my mother, cause she was my father's wife.
To complicate the matter, even though it brought me joy,
I soon became the father of a bouncing baby boy.

My little baby then became a brother-in-law to Dad,
And so became my uncle, though it made me very sad.
For if he was my uncle, then that also made him brother
Of the widow's grown-up daughter, who, of course, was my stepmother.

*** Note: I find it's generally a good idea to pause at this point
to allow the listeners time to process the ramifications
of that last stanza!


Father's wife then had a son who kept him on the run,
And he became my grandchild, for he was my daughter's son.
My wife is now my mother's mother, and it makes me blue,
Because, although she is my wife, she's my grandmother, too.

Now if my wife is my grandmother, then I'm her grandchild,
And everytime I think of it, it nearly drives me wild,
For now I have become the strangest case you ever saw
As husband of my grandmother, I am my own grandpa.

I'm my own grandpa.
I'm my own grandpa.
It sounds funny, I know,
But it really is so,
Oh, I'm my own grandpa.
lola

OMG, How much truer can this get?!

Dear Capricorn,
Food is the energy for your flesh, partake in Nature's greatest gift. People look up to you for inspiration and advice, not to mention that you're amazingly tall. Don't allow this to get to your inflated ego, just because you like spiders and have seen Spiderman doesn't mean that you can climb walls. This is no time to think of romance, but a night in the sack with someone new is welcome. Your extensive studies in math and science will finally aid you and a friend for the better. You should be receiving a large check in the mail anytime now. Use it to make a large payment on your Visa bill.
  • Current Mood
    silly silly