Got my new keyboard today! So now my Ls, Ks, and .s will work. It's so quiet! :)
UPS tried to deliver it on Friday, but I must've been asleep and didn't hear them knock (my doorbell doesn't work). So last night I slept on the couch and opened the front door. Sure enough, 10 O'clock, they came a'callin'. I slept in my clothes too, so all I would have to do is just jump up and answer the door. I'm not used to sleeping in clothes.
Luckily I'm a light sleeper. I was awake instantly when he knocked on the door. I just can't hear the knock from my bedroom... it's too far in the back.
Not that any of you really care...
So, I got the new keyboard... next I need a new scanner (I still scan the pictures I have on film, and just because I have a digital camera doesn't mean that's all I am going to use... 35mm and medium format film still has major advantages over digital cameras--albeit dwindling rapidly) and a new printer. My poor printer is so old... one of the first bubble jets that was on the market. Well, hell, I need a new computer! I need network cards to hook them up together (I still want to use this one for some stuff!) and DSL (or maybe cable).
And while we're at it... I still want to get a boat. I still want to learn to fly helicopters (thought I'd forgotten about that, hadn't you, Cody!)
Damn, the older I get, the more materialistic I get... weird! What will I do with it all when I die?
BTW, did I mention that I like this new keyboard?
Have heard it said, that there are times when there's nothing better in life than a mind-blowing bowel movement.
Fortunately, I have not reached the age where this is true.
For quite a while, I have been wanting to do a photo shoot of someone very late in their pregnancy. Many of the women at work have asked me to do this for them, but have always backed out at the last minute, thinking they looked too fat or something.
So I'm crying, pleading, begging to know if there's anyone close by that is pregnant that would be willing to do a photo shoot.
You know what I just thought of while I was trying to get the kitchen sink unclogged?
Now that my dad found out that I have a new digital camera (I wouldn't be a photographer if it wasn't for him), he wants to get one too. That's not necessarily a bad thing... but why does he want to get the exact same brand and model that I have? I mean, we were on the phone while he was checking out an online store's camera equipment page, and he's asking me all these things about model number and everything, while he's trying to find it.
The one that I chose isn't necessarily the best one out there. I chose it because it did everything that I wanted it to do, and was in the price range that I wanted.
One of the features of my digital camera is that it can take short MPG movie clips. I can see no reason why he'd want something like that.
All the cameras come with detailed instruction manuals, so he wouldn't need to call me and ask me how to do this-and-such.
Well, I'm sure he'll find something. (He couldn't find the exact model I have online.)
Interpretations of nature from junior high, high school, and college test papers and essays submitted to science and health teachers (spelling errors preserved)....
"When you breath, you inspire. When you do not breath, you expire."
"H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water"
"To collect fumes of sulphur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube"
"When you smell an oderless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide"
"Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water."
"Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and caterpillars."
"Blood flows down one leg and up the other."
"Respiration is composed of two acts, first inspiration, and then expectoration."
"The moon is a planet just like the earth, only it is even deader."
"Artifical insemination is when the farmer does it to the cow instead of the bull."
"Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire."
"A super-saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold."
"Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas."
"The body consists of three parts - the brainium, the borax and the abominable cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abominable cavity contains the bowls, of which there are five - a, e, i, o, and u."
"The pistol of a flower is its only protections agenst insects."
"The alimentary canal is located in the northern part of Indiana."
"The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been taken out and the outsides have ben taken off. The purpose of the skeleton is something to hitch meat to."
"A permanent set of teeth consists of eight canines, eight cuspids, two molars, and eight cuspidors."
"The tides are a fight between the Earth and moon. All water tends towards the moon, because there is no water in the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight."
"A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more extinct it is."
"Germinate: To become a naturalized German."
"Liter: A nest of young puppies."
"Magnet: Something you find crawling all over a dead cat."
"Momentum: What you give a person when they are going away."
"Planet: A body of Earth surrounded by sky."
"Rhubarb: A kind of celery gone bloodshot."
"Vacumm: A large, empty space where the pope lives."
"Before giving a blood transfusion, find out if the blood is affirmative or negative."
"To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the nose."
"For a nosebleed: Put the nose much lower then the body until the heart stops."
"For drowning: Climb on top of the person and move up and down to make artifical perspiration."
"For fainting: Rub the person's chest or, if a lady, rub her arm above the hand instead. Or put the head between the knees of the nearest medical doctor."
"For dog bite: put the dog away for sevral days. If he has not recovered, then kill it."
"For asphyxiation: Apply artificial respiration until the patient is dead."
"For head cold: use an agonizer to spray the nose untill it drops in your throat."
"To keep milk from turning sour: Keep it in the cow."
"During the heat of the space race in the 1960's, the U.S. National Aeronautics and Space Administration decided it needed a ball point pen to write in the zero gravity confines of its space capsules. After considerable research and development, the Astronaut Pen was developed at a cost of about $1 million U.S. The pen worked and also enjoyed some modest success as a novelty item back here on Earth.
The Soviet Union, faced with the same problem, used a pencil."