April 28th, 2001

my lips

e-mail to me

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, if he gets angry, he'll be a mile away - and barefoot.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
A closed mouth gathers no feet.
If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
Always yield to temptation, because it may not pass your way again.
Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
Junk is something you throw away three weeks before you need it.
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic.
Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.
I believe the only time the world beats a path to my door is when I'm in the bathroom.
Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.
my lips

(no subject)

I just replied to an e-mail from someone who just graduated from x-ray school last year. She was telling me how things were going for her. She asked how everyone was where I worked and how things were going. In my reply, I said something that I think could go in that list of unproverbs in my previous post.
"You can't mop the floor with a dirty broom."
Believe me, it was cuter when I wrote it the first time. I told her it was an old saying, but it was just made up, so it really wasn't that old. I went on to say that there are some critters that a couple of minutes is their entire life span, so the saying could, indeed, be old. It just depends on perspective.
Ah shit, I'm rambling...
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