Hello "s m". I was not sure if your e-mail was a mass e-mail or not. I tried looking at the source, but it's not telling me much.
Unfortunately, I am not a psychologist nor a psychiatrist, so I probably can't answer the majority of your questions.
However, I am not syaing that I am unwilling to help.
But I probably would need a lot more information.
So, write me another e-mail, tell me some of your vital statistics, like your age, where you live, what you do, and whatever else you want to add.
If you just want someone to talk to, I can do that, too.
We won't do it here, we'll do it completely by e-mail. But I want to make sure that this isn't some scheme to get money or mass e-mail, but rather a real person that is actually reading this.
So, e-mail me back, include vitals and talk a little about the problems. I will e-mail you back from now on.