The Digital Shutterbug (aryx) wrote,
The Digital Shutterbug

This journal has been placed in memorial status. New entries cannot be posted to it.

I always wanted to be someone's knight in shining armour, coming to their emotional rescue... to paraphrase a song.
Fuck it.
The ones that accept my help have ulterior motives. I become that place where someone can stay when no one else will take them in. I am that free meal when they are hungry. Too quickly will I rush to help someone out of a jam.
I'm tired.
Now I know what raising me was like.
But I have no idea how my mom did it making the money she earned while I was growing up.
For over a year I have been out of any kind of serious relationship. I have had a couple of flings, but we both went into it knowing it was temporary.
The relationships are on hold, for now. I am going to spend some quality time with myself. I have bought a boat, and I am fixing it up. Plans for the future are to enjoy myself more. All the toys and things that I never got as a child, I will eventually work in to my lifestyle and time. Yes, I can finally see myself taking the piano lessons I should have had as a kid. And maybe Cody has a good idea, I probably should do some sort of marshal arts to get myself back in to shape. But that would be for me, on my time, and my conditions.
Yes, it is time for me.
I will be more selfish.
But I will become better at what I do.
*does anyone else hear an upbeat music in the background?*
I will do the things that I want to do...
But I've got to start on it tomorrow... I'm so tired, and it's time to go to bed. Besides, I don't know where my shoes are right now.

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