Aryx for a day
A new psychological thriller/comedy by the same people who brought you Jaws and Little House on the Prarie comes this innovatingly new concept in film making. Now you can be Aryx for a day, and it doesn't even matter who you are!
Feel the intense heat of passion as he discovers his manhood, hiding in a closet. Experience the raging anger as he completely demolishes and destroys a zit. Know the love inside him as women slap his face at every night-club he walks into. Be Aryx, and you will think the murderous speculations against the cockroaches that infest his parking space.
And it gets worse! But, alas, we do not want to spoil the beginning... and we'd really like to keep most of the middle part a secret, and in fact, we're not even going to show you how it all ends.
But we'd still like you to drive around aimlessly in search of a semi-decent neighborhood where they might actually show this flick... and if you find one, could you please let us know? We're really sick of walking through gang-infested ghetto neighborhoods where even the police fear to tread just in order to see our own movies... that we made!!!
And we cannot be held responsible or liable for any injuries or ailments that you may incur during the viewing of this film, nor shall we aid you legally or financially when you decide to go on any murdering sprees through the local post-offices--remember, leave that to the disgruntled postal employees... they're better suited for that.
No refunds will be given, even if your mother dies a horrible agonizing death at just the thought of the possibility that you might see this movie.
Your popcorn may be laced with poison, and gremlins may tie your shoelaces together. Voluntary electrocution is discouraged.